I don't think brook has ever known best
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
