1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
