Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
