Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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