It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
