WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize