look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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