There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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