i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
