Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
where are you?
Hypothermia
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
