yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm sobbing to NWA
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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