wat bout pragnant strippers??
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
