Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
