oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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