guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
