Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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