I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
