I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
