Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
