even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
