I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
