Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
