i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
