Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
