people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
