Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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