I'm gonna have a badass scar
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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