I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
