don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I need a burrito and a hug.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
