I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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