you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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