What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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