office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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