Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
