Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
