okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize