It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
