It's like a parade of train wrecks.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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