the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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