my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
