Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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