she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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