i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
