obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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