I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
