you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
