you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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