the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
