can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize