You work out of a Hotel?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
