drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
