I accidentally burped into my bong.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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