I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
