how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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