So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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