It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
