Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
They took my balls.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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