During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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