I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize