party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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