yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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