Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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